So there’s a British prisoner named Charles Bronson who named himself after the actor Charles Bronson. And this prisoner has, courtesy some anonymous British media djinn at Wikipedia, gifted us with a truly worthy list for us. From Wikipedia:

Bronson has been involved in over a dozen hostage incidents, some of which are described below:

• In 1994, whilst holding a guard hostage at Woodhill Prison, Milton Keynes, he demanded an inflatable doll, a helicopter and a cup of tea as ransom.
• In 1998, Bronson took two Iraqi hijackers and another inmate hostage at Belmarsh prison in London. He insisted his hostages address him as “General” and told negotiators he would eat one of his victims quickly unless his demands were met… He later told staff: “I’m going to start snapping necks - I’m the number-one hostage taker.” He demanded a plane to take him to Cuba, two Uzi sub-machine guns, 5,000 rounds of ammunition, and a cup of beans. In court, he said he was “as guilty as Adolf Hitler.” He said: “I was on a mission of madness, but now I’m on a mission of peace and all I want to do now is go home and have a pint with my son.” Another seven years were added to his sentence.
• In 2007, two members of prison staff… were involved in a “control and restraint incident” in an attempt to prevent another hostage situation, during which Bronson (who now needs spectacles) had his glasses broken. Bronson received £200 compensation for his broken glasses, which he claimed were made of “pre-war gold” and given to him by Lord Longford.

A fascinating monster, an artist, or an aberration utterly unconnected with the reality in which the rest of us participate every day? Gentle reader, you make the call. I am too busy laughing my ass off at “pre-war gold.” It’s even funnier if his specs really were given to him by a Lord.

But I’d rather not know the truth of these tales. The man, a bad-ass (pointlessly so) in real life, invented himself in homage to an actor who played a bad-ass on the big screen. The amphisbaena wriggles in both directions.